Finished xmas tree

I forgot to put up a finished picture earlier, so here it is.  Total cost - $3 for the can of spray paint, $2 for the ribbon for the bow ornaments, $3 for the lights.  Not too bad for an $8 tree.  

I need to do some reading before classes start - I've got 6 Jefferson Bass books, a new Patricia Cornwell book, and a new Jeff Lindsay book that I haven't had time to get to during the semester.  I keep getting distracted by going down rabbit holes online, instead of just reading my books.  

A google search for the red cross hand crank radio I got as a birthday present from my brother lead me to a review on some survivalist forums, which I browsed around, which lead me to a bunch of links on homesteading, which lead to a bunch of really interesting recipe sites.  I just wasted two days not really getting anything done, but now I really want my own mini farm when I graduate.  

I think if I could get 3 heifers, a bunch of chickens, an aquaponics setup with tilapia and veggies, and a decent sized greenhouse, I could probably provide 70% of the items I'd buy from a grocery store.  I'd be able to guarantee that my animals were raised humanely, veggies wouldn't have to be trucked from all over the place, and I'd be good to go in the case of a zombie apocalypse.  Unless cows can be turned into zombies.  Then I'd probably be worse off.  

Soo... I don't know how to feel about this.

Every now and then I look at the google search terms used to find my blog.  Today's search terms are awesome.

I'm sorry for the 11 people that were looking for information on llamas and ended up here.  But those of you who decided to google "kill it with fire," "brain bleach," and "llama paws," stick around.  You'll probably fit right in.  

And I was thinking about my Christmas tree post, and how it was probably unfair to Purina.  I'm sure Nestle Purina has some products that are better than their shipping boxes.  I was set to write a post about how if they really wanted us to push their products when we graduate, how they should also send us a monthly allotment of chocolate.  I then remembered that Cadbury got sold to a big corporation last year, and was going to make that suggestion, but no, Kraft bought Cadbury, not Nestle.  Then I decided to look up what Nestle products we could be bribed with, hoping they made some sort of European chocolate that doesn't taste like wax. Nope.  All I could find were things like Crunch bars, Butterfingers, and the abomination that is Raisinets.  Oh, and apparently allegations that their cocoa is harvested with slave labor.  So I totally retract my idea that they bribe us with their waxy slave chocolates.  

However, there was an amazing quote from the article above, which I think I will use if I ever have a client ask me why they should use Nestle Purina dog food over another brand.  "We said, 'Show us one documented case of a baby who has died because of Nestlé,'" says François-Xavier Perroud, head of media relations, who was hired to help deal with the crisis. "No one could come up with anything."

So use their dog food.  Because nobody can document that they've ever killed a baby.  

p.s.  Can I list that as a qualification on resumes in the future?  "Why should we hire you?" "Well, nobody has ever documented that a baby has died because of me."  "Hmm, good point.  You're hired."  

p.p.s.  Now I'm a little nervous about what google searches will accidentally find this post.  

Because I'm broke and easily amused

Every month, we get a free bag of Purina food delivered to our house.  It's basically Purina's way of saying "I hope this free stuff will make you feel obligated towards our company, so once you graduate you'll recommend or prescribe our products."  Getting their food in the mail is my way of saying "This isn't going to work on me, but I have no problem jacking up your advertising budget."  It's sort of a parasitic (on both our halves) symbiosis.  Just like every other month, Purina sent me food this month. But I'll be they didn't know that this month, they also sent me a christmas tree.

Falling for that sort of advertising makes me feel like a corporate tool.  But here's a recommendation I can totally get behind, and recommend 100%.  Purina Shipping boxes make amazing ghetto trees.

Since technically dog food doesn't require a prescription, even though the food companies market their diets as "prescription only," I'm going to assume the same applies to the boxes it comes in.  So here's the official recommendation I'll make in 2 1/2 years, once I have prescriptive authority.

See, their practice of sending free products to students will totally pay off!  

P.S.  I'm going to spray paint and decorate the tree tomorrow.  I don't want my xmas tree to be that ghetto.  

One more final to go

One last final exam tomorrow morning - molecular and cellular bio.  Last week, when I was talking about how nice it is that our finals are so spread out and laid back?  Now I'm running into the downside of that.  I'm burned out, and it's 6pm, and all I've managed to do so far is open up a bunch of course documents, while surfing online. Not that I've read any of them, but I have 30 tabs open to make me feel like I'm actually doing something.  To make things worse, I looked at my grade in the class, and determined that I can completely bomb the test and still pass.  Knowing I can get away with a 40% is not helping my motivation at all.  Must.  Study.  Molecular.  Mechanisms.  Zzzzzz.

Somebody posted this on facebook, and it has me cracking up right now.

The finals fog is starting to clear

Last block, for midterms we had 7 tests crammed into one week.  For finals this time around, we've got 6 tests spread out over a week and a half.  (Tuesday-Friday of this week, then Monday and Tuesday of next week.)  I must say, it's so much more laid back and relaxed this way.

So far this week, I've taken the first VBS exam (140 multiple choice questions over the first 4 cases of the block), the practical exam (histology, anatomy radiology, toxicology, pathology and parasitology), vet issues (our law/ethics class,) and clinical skills. The first two I'm not feeling so great about, but the last two I'm not at all worried about.  However, the day of the practical, I was getting really annoyed, because I kept blanking random words - related to the test and completely unrelated to school.  For instance, blanking the word "clove" in regards to garlic, and deciding that "lobule" was a good substitute.  Sometimes I get paranoid and am convinced there's a subconscious part of my brain that gets a sick pleasure from randomly purging bits of data.

Anyway, two left - the second VBS test, which covers the last 4 cases of the block, and molecular and cellular bio.  I'll be huddled up all weekend reviewing male and female repro.  Two more days of tests, and I'm done for the semester.  I'm sure my pets are getting sick of getting neglected during exam week.

Oh, I also found out why the ACT exam we took at midterms took so long to get graded.  Apparently, out of the entire staff, only two people were grading them.  I feel really bad for the two faculty members that had to plow through 200 of those.

I am easily amused.

According to my pathology book, there is a disease of sheep foreskin called "pizzle rot."  I can't stop giggling at the name.  Because apparently, deep down, I'm 12.

I had a rather interesting lab in school today - we had to do an equine rectal exam on a model, which was basically a horse butt on one end, and realistic rubber organs on the other side.  We had to talk our professor through a rectal exam from start to finish, as we were doing it - having never done one before.  After we did the exam, we could go on the other side of the horse, and watch the next person.  After doing it blind, it was really cool to be on the other side.  Here's a similar one I found online.  

For our clinical skills class, our professor decided to do something fun, and bought us build-a-bears to practice suturing on.  Then she turned it into a competition that will be judged tomorrow over who can decorate their bear the best.  I spent the afternoon making internal organs for my group's bear.  I tried to take pictures, but it's really hard to see.  It was a fun way to de-stress and waste 2 hours.  

The video below has been circulating on facebook for the past week or so. Haha, it's just a funny way to promote spay and neuter, right?  Here's a thought process... try re-watching the video, only instead of when she says "balls" or "testicles," replace it in your head with "labia," and pretend it's a guy instead of a supermodel talking. (Ok, I know that replacement doesn't exactly work, but since our gonads are internal, I'm just choosing an external piece of female anatomy at random.)  That video's suddenly not so funny, is it?  It's an interesting double standard.

Katherine Heigl Hates Balls from Katherine Heigl