Monday, November 11, 2013

Trying to look on the bright side of things.

I'm back in Colorado, and I started my zoo rotation last week.  Sorry updates have been few and far between.  So far, the zoo has been fabulous.  I know I have a job lined up for when I graduate, and I know it's a job I'll love, but damn, I wish I could be a zoo vet.

Anyway, about everything else that's going on in my life.  I left California a day early to try to get back home to Colorado on Halloween.  It's my favorite holiday, and the thought of spending it listening to powerpoints, then driving across the dessert was rather depressing.

My pups were happy to see me.  Tyler, however, was not.  Knowing that I was home, and I hadn't seen the guy in 9 weeks, he stayed at a friend's party for hours after I told him where I was.  2 days later, he drops the bombshell that he wants a divorce.  So I've been dealing with the fallout from that for the past week and a half.  I've been trying to find somebody to take care of my cats for my next 3 rotations, since Billy obviously hadn't been getting his thyroid meds while I was gone, packing up all my stuff and moving it to my mom's house for storage, until I can move into my own place once I'm done with all of the travelling for school, and just trying to hold my shit together.

I'm really trying to look on the bright side of things right now.  I no longer have to deal with bat shit crazy in-laws.  I no longer have to hear non-stop droning about hockey and the Red Wings.  I no longer have to support a full grown adult who doesn't contribute to household bills, or clean, or take responsibility for anything.  In May, when I'm done with rotations, and the tenants move out of my house here, I can move in, decorate how I want, and not have to worry about having his band practicing in the basement again, so I know it won't get trashed again.  Logically, I know I'm better off. Part of me is pissed off that he's the one leaving me - because I expressed my disappointment in how he's treated me over the years (because apparently it's ok to mooch off your wife, put the band, your friends, and toxic family before her, and to break your vows multiple times, but it's not ok for her to react to those constant slights).  The other part of me is incredibly embarrassed that I've put up with so much shit for so long, and that I've been a complete doormat.  I'm trying not to dwell on it, and just move on, and concentrate on improving my situation, and studying for my boards in December.

As a result of all that, and in an attempt to cheer myself up, I did something impulsive - I booked a 2 week trip to Stockholm with my Mom, Sister, and best friend.  I have a few weeks between when I'm finished with all my clinical rotations, and when graduation happens.  I can't work in that time, while I'm waiting around for my diploma, so I figured I'd make the best of it. I seriously doubt that I'll be able to take any sort of time off for the next few years while I'm building my career, so it's now or never.

It may not feel like it right now, but life is good.

No comments:

Post a Comment