Thursday, March 1, 2012

This week sucks.

It's exam week.  Usually a stressful time, but you plow through it, and by the end, you're no worse for the wear. This week is different.  This week has it out for us.

Monday (Vet basic sciences 1 test)
First half of the test: "Oh, this test isn't so bad.  I've gotten through 60 questions, and only had to guess at one or two answers.  I might actually get an A for once."
Second half of the test: "Hmm.  These are getting harder.  I'm having to guess on a lot more of the questions.  I don't know what some of these questions had to do with the cases we studied, but oh, well, the first half should make up for the second."

Tuesday (Practical Exam - anatomy/radiology, pathology/histology/parasitology
First half of the test (anatomy and radiology): "Eee!  Lookit at me!  I'm actually remembering what things are called!  Maybe I'll bring up my anatomy grade a little bit. Hmm.  I didn't study that, luckily it's only a couple points.  I should still come out ahead."

Second half of the test: "All these parasites look alike.  I know I'm supposed to be looking at their feet to tell them apart, but I can't even see their damn feet.  Screw it, I'll guess, since I have it narrowed down to two.  Crap.  This tick has festoons, and a pointy head.  Which one had both of them together?  I don't remember a damn thing about ticks."

Followed by "Ok, we've got histology.  I've spent hours on this, and I know the slides, and I've gone through the histo binder, I should be fine.  WTF is this?  I can tell it's glandular, but apparently I can't tell the difference between the pituitary and the pancreas.  Crap, this one is pancreas, and I just forgot the third part that's not pars intermedia or pars nervosa.  I'll scribble a word and hope it's right.  Man, histology is going to erase any extra points I may have gained in the anatomy portion.  I bet the anatomists get together after tests, and make fun of how dumb I am."

This is then followed by the pathology portion of the test. "Crap.  I can't tell if that picture is showing a clouded cornea, or a cataract.  WTF? Why is there a picture of an abomasum - all of our cases were neuroendocrine, so no, I don't know the etiology behind that."

After turning in the miserable test, and walking to my car - "Shit.  Did I write "hirsutism instead of alopecia on the bald dog picture?"

Wednesday (molecular and cellular biology and veterinary issues.) 
MCB: "These multiple choice questions are worded badly.  I know I read the 16 primary literature papers this test is over, but the answer I would chose is not one of those choices.  Did they read the same papers?  No, I don't know what the main point of Hfdsjhs et. al.'s paper is.  I didn't look at the freaking author names when I read the paper, so I'm not entirely sure which one you're asking about, so I'm just choosing the answer that sounds like one of the papers."

After MCB, I spent the next two hours reading the six required chapters that the vet issues test would be over.  It was a lot to cover, and I'm a fast reader, so 2 hours worth of dry law stuff is a LOT.  No worries, though.  Usually on the vet issues tests you can just make up an answer if you don't remember what the right one is, and 80% of the time it works out just fine.

Vet Issues test:
"Yay! this test is all multiple choice! This will be even easier than usual! Hmm.  I don't remember which federal organization enforces the Lacey act.  I know it's either USDA or APHIS, but i don't remember which.  Crap, I don't remember who does the ESA either.  Shit.  Can the international Whaling Commission impose fines, or do they just have meetings and let Japan push them around?  I just read all of this information in the last 2 hours.  Why are they not asking any details that apply to anything?  I thought this was supposed to be the easy freebie class.

Today, Vet Basic Sciences part 2:
"Ok, I'm going to kick this test's butt to make up for yesterday sucking.  Ok, GO! Question 1.  WTF?  Are those words?  Did I study the same case as everybody else?  Forget it.  Move on to question 2.  Question 2 - REALLY?  Ok, just power through this, it can't all be that bad.  Oh, look, it took me until page 2 until I had a question I'm 100% positive I got right.  This is a bad way to start off a test, but it will get better."

About 20 pages in - "Hmm.  If this test goes as badly as it feels, I guess I can always change my name, and work under the table so I'm not crushed by the 150k in student loans I've amassed so far.  I'm sure I could find a nice hippie commune or something.  It'd be pretty embarrassing to smell like patchouli, but at least I could just disappear and start over, and nobody would know about how this test made me fail out of vet school.  On the plus side, I could have dreadlocks.  Vets can't have dreadlocks. This isn't going to be so bad."

By about question #140 - "Pull it together, Karin!  You have to figure out these answers, because you don't know how to play hackey sack.  Yet another thing you can't do well, you big dummy."

Aargh.  It's been a rough week.  On the plus side, even the smart kids in class thought today's and yesterday's tests were awful, so it's not just me.  Two more tests tomorrow, then I can take a little bit of a breath before getting anxious about waiting to hear about my grades.  I'm going to be pretty defeated by the time this week is over.


  1. Get out of my head!

  2. OMG...I can't believe 2nd year is exactly as bad as first year... this is hysterical (assuming we all pass), otherwise not so much.