Friday, December 16, 2011

Soo... I don't know how to feel about this.

Every now and then I look at the google search terms used to find my blog.  Today's search terms are awesome.

I'm sorry for the 11 people that were looking for information on llamas and ended up here.  But those of you who decided to google "kill it with fire," "brain bleach," and "llama paws," stick around.  You'll probably fit right in.  

And I was thinking about my Christmas tree post, and how it was probably unfair to Purina.  I'm sure Nestle Purina has some products that are better than their shipping boxes.  I was set to write a post about how if they really wanted us to push their products when we graduate, how they should also send us a monthly allotment of chocolate.  I then remembered that Cadbury got sold to a big corporation last year, and was going to make that suggestion, but no, Kraft bought Cadbury, not Nestle.  Then I decided to look up what Nestle products we could be bribed with, hoping they made some sort of European chocolate that doesn't taste like wax. Nope.  All I could find were things like Crunch bars, Butterfingers, and the abomination that is Raisinets.  Oh, and apparently allegations that their cocoa is harvested with slave labor.  So I totally retract my idea that they bribe us with their waxy slave chocolates.  

However, there was an amazing quote from the article above, which I think I will use if I ever have a client ask me why they should use Nestle Purina dog food over another brand.  "We said, 'Show us one documented case of a baby who has died because of Nestlé,'" says François-Xavier Perroud, head of media relations, who was hired to help deal with the crisis. "No one could come up with anything."

So use their dog food.  Because nobody can document that they've ever killed a baby.  

p.s.  Can I list that as a qualification on resumes in the future?  "Why should we hire you?" "Well, nobody has ever documented that a baby has died because of me."  "Hmm, good point.  You're hired."  

p.p.s.  Now I'm a little nervous about what google searches will accidentally find this post.  

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